Confessions of a blogger

I have been blogging from the beginning of this year and it has been a wonderful way to discover myself and also spend quality time with me or myself :-)

Life has been an incredible rollercoaster ride for me ever since I can recollect and there have been many times when I have bitten off more than I could chew. But I have no regrets as those decisions were solely mine and I did things my way! If we fear to take the path that we want to then we are just surviving and not living. And I want to live my life to the fullest and not merely be a survivor!

I don't want to be frozen and blogging has been an amazing form of expressing my feelings as I write without thinking that I cant do otherwise. I love blogging and enjoy writing anything and everything I think about!

Thank you for reading :-)

Driving is so enjoyable!!!!

It had been a really long time or ages since I actually drove or rather took interest in driving :-) This morning I woke up around quarter to six and wanted to go for a really long drive all by myself. So, I slipped on my shoes and left home on a really long drive. I actually enjoyed it so much that I didn't realize that I drove around for 2 hours.

It was such a beautiful morning and driving on Bangalore roads so early was refreshing. I actually surprise myself quite a lot these days as I'm seeing a totally different side of me :-) Ever since I got out of that lousy relationship last year I have been so relaxed and looking forward to leading a wonderful life ahead! It has been worth living every moment ever since I decided to put an end to my marriage. There is no point working towards something that doesn't have any potential and that's when i decided to put an end to my miserable life.

If not for anything it has made me all the more confident and look forward to leading a beautiful life with all the people I love and cherish being around. Wow, life has never been so interesting and I'm not dreading turning 30 this year :-)

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

I've been hooked onto this show for ages and it really doesn't matter the number of times I watch the same episode over and over again. I can still laugh as they are an amazing group of personalities.

Each of the character is portrayed beautifully and the casting is just too perfect. Jennifer Aniston was to play Monica but I'm glad she was Rachel :-) Ross, Chandler and Joey are the cutest set of guys I've ever known. Phoebe, I could relate to a lot and I really like her happy go lucky way of leading life.

Monica is finicky about things being in order and there are some things that I could relate to like the side of bed I would want to sleep and keeping things organized. But, the level of this sickness is not as bad as Monica yet :-) Rachel, I could relate to when it comes to relationships and her career; as in the beginning she isn't sure about her career and then goes onto getting one of the best jobs of her life. Phoebe is too hilarious and I guess anyone who knows me would agree that you relate me to that attribute of her.
I just love these guys as they bring a smile to my face and when I'm stressed I would want to watch them for an hour or so as they lighten my spirit. I will never stop watching you guys and would want to get the entire collection someday as it is worth every penny! Love you :-)

Results of my personality test :-)

ENFP's are described as:

Extroverted and outgoing
Would rather be with a group of people than spend time alone
Frequently the center of attention, may be the lfe of the party
Talks a lot
Very comfortable
Truly enjoys meeting new people and does not hesitate to start up conversations with strangers
Easy to know what they are thinking, because they do their thinking out loud
Intuitive and imaginative
Big picture oriented, does not enjoy details
Prefers dealing with theory, concepts and the abstract
Tends to focus on the future and what is in their minds rather than what is happening around them in the present
Typically does not pay much attention to what their five senses are telling them i.e. hearing, seeing etc
Likes to see patterns and the underlying meaning of things
Enjoys mental and cerebrial activities over physical activites
Good memory for concepts and theories but not good at remembering details and numbers
Thrives on ambiguity and the unknown
Values people's feelings
Usually warm and caring
Very sensitive, easily hurt
Easy to get to know
More concerned with how people feel than what makes logical sense
Strong sense of values i.e. what is right and wrong
Likes to ask trusted friends what they think before making a decision
Being organized is not all that important
Experiencing as many things a possible is extremely important
Plans, schedules and goals are sometimes useful but not critical for enjoying life
Being flexible and adaptable is critical to enjoying life
With so many things to do, projects usually don't get finished until the last minute
Life is a continuos, flowing process

ENFP's prefer careers where:

* Management allows people to be self directed * The work itself is personally meaningful and has value * Decisions and actions at work are in sync with your personal values * The work offers the opportunity to rapidly change direction and to respond to problems as they arise * The work is fun and allows for some spontaneity * The work allows you the opportunity to work with and meet a wide variety of people, rather than working alone most of the time * The work moves at a rapid, exciting pace * The environment and culture gives you opportunities to think through your ideas by talking about them * The work involves theory and speculation * The job is action oriented and provides for a wide variety of activities rather than being highly focused on a few tasks * The work involves creativity, imagination and a creative approach to problem solving * The work involves looking beyond the present i.e. future possibilities, future products, future actions * The work is not limited to what exists today but involves "what may be" and "what could be" * The atmosphere allows you to be warm and caring and to build strong interpersonal relationships * The environment allows for freedom and flexibility and is loosely structured without too many rules

Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length - Robert Frost

Well, I have read this quote earlier too and always thought it made so much sense. Happiness or sadness are such phases in our lives as nothing is permanent. I would look forward to finding eternal bliss in anything I decide to take up in life as happiness culminates into different things as we grow.

Happiness is contagious and I would not hesitate to spread the same around whosoever I am with. There is so many cynics around so people could use some joy or laughter. Being positive is the only way we can attract positive things in our lives so never stop being optimistic. Life is too beautiful and short to waste it on cribbing, sulking or staying unhappy.

Some of the things you could look forward to is to make a list of things that you would wish to accomplish or engage in. We would need to ensure that we keep the list to 10 things that are simple and short term. I am not talking about long term goals but small things that could bring about a lot of difference to our lives. Anything that would help you discover yourself and enrich your life as well as others around you.

Happiness is not temporary but its the state of mind. So, go find your happiness today! Thanks for reading :-)

Show me the money!

Well, I don't intend to say this to anyone except to myself because my love doesn't cost a thing. I know that this sounds stereotypical but that's the truth. I would want to be with someone as I like being with that special person. As an educated person I could address my "materialistic needs".

Money is the such a pathetic reason to be with someone and its just a lame excuse to not move your butt. I cant even understand if this you are in a desperate situation. We can live our life the way we want to but its not as easy as just wanting it. Only when you go through a bad phase do you realize that people value money more than relationships. I am not surprised as most of the people are living their lives this way. It is important to have sufficient money to support yourself and also handle other commitments by choice and not force :-)

So, there are many occasions where you would need to value money but don't loose yourself in this game of life!

Wishful thinking......

I am actually smiling when I am writing this post :-) Sometimes we get very excited in life thinking about certain situation/s in our lives. I've been abundantly blessed with such situations and probably that makes my life a lot more interesting :-) I'm really happy that I got to know myself a lot better through all those situations. It gives a lot more clarity or rather purpose for living. I was surviving till now and finally I am living my life to the fullest!

Sometimes it is good to be the "wishful thinking" kinds cause it surely has seemed to work for me beautifully. If you really want something sincerely in your life you will tend to attract it and I completely believe in this. Be it career, relationships, wealth, lifestyle etc. Knowing yourself completely can change your outlook to life and everything that you are a part of. We are all just a part of the universe and each of us are here for a reason. I really don't appreciate the idea of people taking their own lives because they feel hopeless or that life isn't worth living. Life is a lot more beautiful and unexpected things can happen which will sweep you off your feet. It will shock you as deep down you know that this is life you always wanted.

So, do ensure that you wish for the things that you actually feel the importance for in your life. Life will surprise you as people or situations enter your professional or personal life.

Family....

Family is such an integral part of my life. They have been with me through thick and thin, anything that they say or do is in my best interest. My folks have really made us understand the importance of a family is to stick together through all the times.

There are situations in which I would feel claustrophobic being overprotected. At the same time I realize that they love me so much and that's the reason they don't want me to hurt again. It really doesn't help when you are PMSing. I just realized how vulnerable we are during this time and its a catalyst for a person who is short fused.

Sometimes I really loose my cool when I'm treated like a kid and my decisions are never taken at face value. This goes beyond my personal life too and sometimes the intrusion is so extreme that I end up telling them to just let me handle my life.

It will take a lot of time before they could believe that I could take care of myself and not get into anything that would eventually hurt me. Well, I really understand where they come from and I have communicated that the style of conveying a message makes a lot of difference when one needs to be treated as a grown up.

Bitten by the bug or would be? Never know

Love


Everyone defines love in their own way,
Does that really matter?
Love means a lot of trust and respect for one another,
This is my way of defining love.

When you feel that the need for one that special someone doesn't exceed what you feel for one another,
You are in love and god help you!
Because this is what being in love feels like actually.


Giving time and understanding each other,
Is all that is required to take it to the next level.
Patience and emotions don't work well together,
Unless you would know how to time them well.

So, for all those who are feeling like this or are looking for that special someone,
Believe me it will come to you if it is meant to be!
Running behind it will only make things worse,
Know yourself first and then you'll know what you want out of your love.

© 2009 roshk79

Trust???

Even though the people around you seize to trust you, never stop believing in yourself. And wanting something in life and actually finding it is not something that everyone would actually pursue. There are certain stages in your life when you feel like you would want to be heard without anyone judging you. It hurts the most when people who you care about start judging you and are not patient enough to hear your side of the story.

During these times is when you would need to trust in yourself. I would want every experience in my life to be the one I look back and smile on. There could have been some really unexpected things that you would have realized about myself and this was possible because I living my life and not just surviving. I know that all of this sounds really simple to write about but when you actually have to live it each single day you will realize the challenges.

It is difficult for anyone to understand that you are not handling the things in the same manner as you have been previously. Especially when your past plays a barrier in any area that you would want to have it the way you always perceived it to be. There are several options we have in our lives especially in our world today. And more convinced we are about the path that we want to take it makes things a lot more relaxing for everyone around you too.

So, I strongly believe in making the best of my life and don't regret any incident in my life cause they are responsible in moulding me to a person I am today. And I love myself now and getting to know a lot more about my personality every single day. So, I believe that trusting myself was the first step in beginning to love myself.

More travel ....

Alaska has been added to my really long list of places to visit. Wow, I really love this place and can so relate to the life in this region. I am more of an outdoor person and this is a wonderful place to explore. I had heard of the Alaskan cruise but the other day I really liked the different way this region was being explored on Travel and Living.

Seeing the huskies pups I was reminded of the pets I had as a child and I really miss them so much. I so badly want to get another dog home but no one else loves animals as much as I do at my place :-(

The most exciting part of this region is the wildlife :-) the grizzly bears, seals, penguins, whales, birds and reptiles. All so exciting and seeing the huskies ride people around it was so amazing. They are such adorable animals with so much strength.

There is so much to do and explore in this region and I would be looking forward to my time there. More when I actually visit the place :-)

Haunts if you let it....

Past is something none of us can escape,

The more you run it will chase you.

If you are still living in the past,

Then you are ruining your present too.

I know that we would have those done things in our best interest,

Something we cannot change or shouldn't regret.

It doesnt matter how judgemental people around you get,

Sooner or later they would realize :-)

As they say that time is the best healer!

Let time handle things for you and not haunt you

© 2009 roshk79

Second poem :-)

Time goes by.....

There is something which is most important in our lives,
And that goes tick tick all the time.
But it is most miraculous as,
It seems to have answers to all our questions.

We realize the importance of giving time when we are in certain situations,
For which you do have an answer but would need to be convinced.
And no one except you can get a reply to the same,
Ensure that you give time its chance to answer any concern you may have.

The decision that you take after taking time out,
Will change everything in your life and bring eternal bliss!


© 2009 roshk79

First poem :-)

Expectations

I look here and there,
All I see is expectation in every relationship.
It does not surprise me as its something natural.
I would be shocked to witness one without any expectations

Through these expectations that make our lives interesting,
We sail through our lives and learn about others around us.
Life is interesting sometimes due to these expectations,
As none of us can imagine living our lives any other way.

We are accustomed to leading our lives in this manner.
Always have and always would be!


© 2009 roshk79

Road we take.....

We all have our strengths and weaknesses but do we recognize them. I'm sure we all have occasions where we tend to satisfy our ego more than thinking clearly.

But I somehow cant seem to understand certain things in my life and there always have been situations I am put into which are complex for others to understand. We all want a peaceful life and no one looks at getting into a complicated circumstance/s. It is true that we tend to attract certain things subconsciously and would realize presence of certain things in our lives after a while?

Each of us are looking at having a normal life which could be with our relationships, career, money etc etc And, it seems like a crime to be able to want something in life and actually tell the people you love, about the same. They would perceive you to be selfish at that moment and a person who seems to be thinking just about themselves. I have been in situations where my values have been questioned and I really don't blame anyone for it. It actually helps me evaluate my life from various angles.

Every relationship in this world is based on expectation/s and anyone denying the same isn't honest to themselves. We have our parents, siblings, relatives, friends, colleagues etc who expect things from us even when we've set certain expectations. Is it selfish to want a nice life for yourself? Is it bad to think about yourself? I haven't really evaluated my life so much earlier but I feel the importance to do so at this point in time more so than ever.

Whenever, anyone close has told me anything really personal I have never judged them and I feel that everyone is like me. This is one of the biggest mistake I've ever made to think that people are not judgemental and would wait for sometime before coming to any conclusion. No one knows anyone completely and no matter how straightforward you are its impossible to talk about everything you feel or want in life. So, it is wrong to expect from others not to be judgemental as every person is in someway judging someone. More often than not it is usually another person than the situation itself. This is something that ruins any relationship on this planet.

Having unreasonable expectations in life or expecting others to fulfill them for you is just another excuse in life. I know that I am being blunt here but we all know ourselves better than anyone else so how can anyone else tell you whats best for you. I totally agree that people who love you would want to protect you and give their opinion without hesitating. I really appreciate honesty and being straightforward but not emotionally blackmailing someone to get your way.

Well, its not that I'm getting younger by the day and I have taken responsibility for each decision in my life. I don't believe in regretting but I do believe in confessing if Ive made a mistake. My ego level isn't unhealthy that would refrain me from saying that I was wrong or made a wrong choice in life.

I have made several decisions in life with best interest but I didn't realize at that point in time that lot of people were sitting there and judging me. I still end up talking to the people who have been sarcastic to me and have had several opinions about the way I handled situation/s. Well, I don't know if I prefer doing things the toughest possible way always because I tend to attract such things in life subconsciously. Well, my way of looking at such situations is totally different. I know what I want in life and hence I tend to attract those things into my life. I don't hesitate wanting certain things in my life based on the past experiences that I have had with respect to my career and relationship especially. For me these two things are really important in defining who I am. I would rather find the ways to define my life beautifully and even if I have to go through the toughest possible path I would not dread.

I believe in myself and strongly feel that I have had certain events in my life have had a very good reason for their occurrence. I don't regret any decision I have made in the past cause nothing good can come out of it. We cant expect to forgive and move on if we don't start with coming to terms with ourselves first. I would be adding more to this post as and when I do feel like.

Kickboxing

Has anyone tried kickboxing earlier? I've been meaning to get into it more so for the purpose of remaining fit and also it would be cool to defend myself :-) If you have tried kickboxing do leave me your feedback on the same so that I can make up my mind about the same.

Since I haven't gotten to hear from anyone I know about kickboxing I would either have to give it a try or wait for someone to respond to this post of mine. So, if you have tried kickboxing do let me know your experience and your words of wisdom for amateurs like me :-)

Take care and have a nice day!

Its been a long time since i actually watched a play!

I always enjoyed watching plays since and being a part of them too. I cant recollect the last time I actually was a part of a play. Wow, it has been a really long time. I've been meaning to attend a theatre workshop for a really long time now and I guess I would have to now cause I have time on hand. But isn't it ironic that when you want to really spend you are unable to :-) Its really easy to ask my folks for the money but I somehow can get myself to do that.

I would have to make best of the location i reside in cause there is an interesting theatre close by to my place. Its been awhile since i actually watched a play and so looking forward to watching one soon!

Also want to attend a workshop in theatre so lets see how that pans out!

Have a fabulous weekend and thanks for reading :-)

Life is pretty challenging at this point in time

Well, I feel that life at this point in time is pretty challenging and interesting at the same time. I was just reading this article about the change we go through when we enter 30s'. I could relate to every word in that article and felt like I had written it myself.

I am really enjoying every moment on the verge of entering 30s' and believe me its really interesting. When I hear about others being worried about growing older I feel that they are missing out on a lot of things in life. Age is something that we don't control but our life can be as we want it to be :-)

We are no longer the same women who are trying to convince others about our views or way of leading our lives. And, another thing that I really enjoy now is spending quality time with friends, family and myself. And gone are the days when women had to sacrifice all their happiness or ambitions in life. We see a lot of change in the way women think today. One of the reasons behind a lot of discussions happening around the globe on Internet as well as other media forms.

I can't ask for anything more since I have a supportive family who are concerned about my happiness than living for the society. That's something I always believed in cause if you really care about the society there are wonderful things you could do apart from being so interfering in others lives. Most of us are really caught up in our own lives to realize this and it would make it all the more challenging for people who are interested about others lives than their own :-) Happy that something good has materialized from this crazy lifestyle each of us lead :-)

Take care and thank you for reading!

Communication : key that opens any lock

Communication is so important and there are so many people assume that others understand them even if thing are never communicated. And body language is such an important part of our communication, more than we'll ever realize. This explains a pair of eyes and ears each of us have. To make up for most of the things unsaid :-)

I always prefer to talk things out rather than let people assume things. I would not like to make an ass of you and myself :-)

I used to be a terrible at listening earlier and have realized that we miss a lot of vital information when we actually don't pay attention. So, i realized its nice to be calm and peaceful listening to others. Once they are done you can continue :-) Otherwise it would be senseless exchange of words or a one sided conversation. More of a monologue!

Communication can be with oneself too and you may be surprised at this. So many times I talk to myself and get some insights into most of the issues to be addressed on daily basis. No one knows us much better than we do so enjoy the little talks you could have with yourself. I know that I may be sounding really weird but the little voice inside wants to be heard so listen!

Alright if i continue writing about this probably some people who think I'm a little sane would refrain from talking to me ... LOL.

Take care and have a fabulous day! Thanks for reading :-)

Hero comes along.....

Hero by Mariah Carey is my all time favorite song. Well worded and excellent performance by Mariah.

Its so true that there is answer for anything within your soul and most of us do not look deep within. I can so relate to this song especially now more than ever in my life. I'm surprised at realizing my potential for being strong during the worst of times. I really owe it to my family cause they have been more than supportive. I love them! And cant stop saying it or writing about it :-)

It is during the toughest times we realize our potential and most of the times I feel that these times make you all the more stronger. There are lessons to be learnt in life and there is a lot to gain from any tough phase in our lives. Looking back I can only smile and realize how vulnerable I was and let people take me for granted. I kept quiet whenever I heard stories about myself and now its amusing cause I know that time will give me a chance to prove myself. This I owe it to my family especially who have been such a big support in my life and I couldn't have asked for more. Sometimes even now I feel low as you can forgive people but cant completely erase things from your memory or redo them. But instantly I feel blessed thinking of the people around me and everything seems to fall in place :-)

I love my life and treat it with more respect than ever before!

Forgive sounds gud forget I'm not sure I cud

They say that time heals and maybe it does but I prefer understanding rather than forgetting. It impossible for me forget but I don't want to remain bitter. And writing this down really helps me get it out of my system. Sometimes being sensitive really isn't helpful at all. So, I'm writing this for all those people who have been terribly hurt in a relationship and are sensitive to handle themselves after a breakup.

Some psycho out there who wouldn't mind screwing up another person's life to just satisfy their ego. Probably you were not interested with them in the past for whatsoever reason but there are actually people who wouldn't stop till they hurt you. I mean they could go to any extent to destroy your life. For instance getting married to someone and making them feel like shit could be one of the ways it would be done.

And since its still a man's world, the first thing they try to do is hurt your loved ones and try to destroy their lives too. Oh! yes the classic make the woman look like shit by washing dirty linen in the public. I must admit that such men are a Satan reincarnated. And, I totally believe in karma and they will have to face the music of hurting a sincere person in the relationship.

Long live such people and since what goes around comes around they will realize by themselves about their deeds. I really cant tolerate men who don't respect women and treat them like objects. Well, I think we are emotionally stronger and would eventually move on. But I always want to this positivity to remain within me and there maybe phases when we are shaken up but the key is to remain the same positive person you've always been.

Wow, this has been a really intense blog for me cause I've pretty much poured our my heart. I've met such manipulative people that probably I could soon be writing a book on identifying and dealing with manipulators. Yes, also about the hypocrisy which rules our society.

Love story - Taylor Swift feel this way but Dixie Chicks " I'm not ready to make nice" haunts me from past

We were both young when I first saw you
I close my eyes
And the flashback starts
I'm standing there
On a balcony in summer air

See the lights

See the party, the ball gowns

I see you make your way through the crowd

And say hello, little did I know

That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles

And my daddy said stay away from Juliet

And I was crying on the staircase

Begging you please don't go, and I said

Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone

I'll be waiting all there's left to do is run

You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess

It's a love story baby just say yes

So I sneak out to the garden to see you

We keep quiet 'cause we're dead if they knew

So close your eyes

Escape this town for a little while

'Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter

And my daddy said stay away from Juliet

But you were everything to me

I was begging you please don't go and I said

Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone

I'll be waiting all there's left to do is run

You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess

It's a love story baby just say yes

Romeo save me, they try to tell me how to feel

This love is difficult, but it's real

Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess

It's a love story baby just say yes

Oh oh

I got tired of waiting

Wondering if you were ever coming around

My faith in you is fading

When I met you on the outskirts of town, and I said

Romeo save me I've been feeling so alone

I keep waiting for you but you never come

Is this in my head? I don't know what to think

He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring

And said, marry me Juliet

You'll never have to be alone

I love you and that's all I really know

I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress

It's a love story baby just say yes

Oh, oh, oh, oh'

Cause we were both young when I first saw you

I'm with you - Avril Lavigne

Im standing on the bridge
Im waiting on the dark
I thought that you'd be hereby now
There's nothing but the rain no foot steps on the ground
Im listening but ther's no sound

Isn't anyone trying to find me

Won't somebody come take me home

It's a damn cold night

Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know

who you are but I

Im with you

Im with you

Im looking for a place
Im searching for a face
Is anybody here I know

Cause nothing's going right

And everything's a mess

And no one likes to be alone

Isn't anyone trying to find me
Won't somebody come take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I Im with you
Im with you

Oh!

Why is every thing so confusing?
Maybe Im just out of my mind

Yeah yeah yeah...It's a damn cold night

Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't Know Who You are
But I Im with you
Im with you
Take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't Know Who You are
But I Im with you
Im with you

Take me by the hand

Take me somewhere new

I don't Know Who You are

But I Im with you

Im with you

Can I get more creative? I think so.......